There are certain times sitting in a movie theater when I pray for Mr. Death to come and take me right then and there, and whisk me away to a land where bad movies don't exist. That's right, movies where death is preferable to watching them.
Recent examples include "Moulin Rouge" (still one of the most cringe-inducing movies I've ever suffered through); "Superman Returns" (I was rooting for Lex Luthor) and "The Prestige" from the monumentally overrated Christopher Nolan.
Last night I have to add another movie to the list, the painfully unfunny "Blades of Glory" starring the human grotesqueries Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. By grotesqueries I mean the cartoon characters they played in this mean-spririted, poorly dircted movie that passes itself off as a comedy. I can't remember the last time I witnessed so many facial contortions and grimacing coming from grown-ups who should know better.
Jokes are set up with no payoff (there's a potentially funny scene where ice skaters are purusing each other on an escalator and their skates get caught in the escalator treads. It just sits there and nothing is done with it).
Add to this the shoddiness of the whole enterprise, and I left the theater feeling depressed and angry. Not the mood I expected coming out of a comedy. I didn't laugh once, thought I did smile at one scene involving Will Ferrell trying a dangerous ice skating routine with mannequins. And in my hope to find something worthwhile, I did enjoy composer Theodore Shapiro's faux-Olympics theme music. But that's about it.
Rating for "Blades of Glory" - one star.
On a non-movie note, this weekend in Chicago is the Crosstown Classic between the White Sox and the Cubs. My prediction - a complete Sox sweep.