It was with some embarrassment when I realized I had gone
almost a month without blogging. I really have no excuse, save that when the
temperature is in the triple digits, and one doesn’t have air conditioning, it
makes to hard to concentrate on watching movies, let along having the energy to
write about them.
But the current intense, record-breaking heat reminded me of
a time many summers ago when the heat drove me to the air-conditioned comfort
of the local movie theater for one of my more memorable movie outings.
So here’s another entry in my “Going to the Movies” series.
It was a brutally hot Friday evening in 1994 when I went to
the second-run LaGrange Theater to see John Candy’s last film, the painfully
unfunny “Wagons East!”
I really didn’t care what was playing, but it must have been
the only title playing that I hadn’t seen. So with the idea of spending time in
an air-conditioned theater, I went to see “Wagons East!”
The LaGrange Theater was, at one time, a fine old suburban
movie palace before it was divided into multiple screens. Because “Wagons East!”
had proved to be a box office dud of epic proportions, it was screened in one
of the smaller theaters.
Small, but crowded enough that evening that I was forced to
do something I almost never do - sit in the first couple of rows. The back of
the theater was pretty packed, and I didn’t feel like crawling over people to
find a seat in the middle.
I was one of the last persons to show up, and when the movie
started I looked around and noticed I was the only person sitting in the first
couple of rows. Nobody was in front of me or on either side. Everybody was
behind me.
Now, I don’t know if anyone has ever seen “Wagons East” but
it’s a comedy with no laughs.
None.
Zero, zip, nilch, nada, none.
The movie is
unreeling and no one, I mean no one, is laughing. Not even the mildest of
chuckles did this movie generate, let alone hearty guffaws.
I’m one of those nerdy types who usually sits through the
credits of movies. Not this time. The instant the credits came on I got up, and
got the surprise of my life when I turned around and faced a completely empty auditorium.
I swear I never heard anyone leave. Because there was no
laughter during the movie, it never occurred to me that the deafening silence was
because I was the only one there.
Like I said, it was one of the smaller auditoriums there, so
I estimate maybe there were 60-70 seats in this particular auditorium. Since
most of the back was filled when I got there, I estimate there were about 40-50
people who (silently) walked out over the course of the movie.
I must confess to feeling some sort of trepidation when I
left the auditorium, afraid I was ensnared in some “Twilight Zone”-like episode
where, while suffering through “Wagons East!”, I had somehow become the only
remaining person on Earth. But no, I walked into a noisy, bustling lobby full
of patrons.
Actually, being the last person on Earth would be preferable
to sitting through “Wagons East!” again.
2 comments:
I rarely stoop to internet parlance, but OMG! Funniest story. I didn't know where you were going with this and now I can't stop laughing.
Hi, CW. Glad you enjoyed the story. Definitely a surreal experience.
Post a Comment